“Perché sei qui?”
“Come mai sei il nostro capo? ”
“Chi ti ha messo in questa posizione ?”
Queste sono state le tre domande più dure e secche che mi siano mai state mai rivolte.
O meglio il primo feedback diretto e freddo che io abbia mai ricevuto nella mia vita.
(Per questo lo ricordo ancora).
Ma anche quello che mi ha aiutato di più a crescere.
In quegli anni ero un giovane ventisettenne appena atterrato in Kazakistan.
E alle prime armi nel gestire un team internazionale.
Quelle parole da parte di un membro del mio nuovo team furono come trangugiare una pillola amara, senza acqua con la gola secca.
Ma anche un vero acceleratore che mi aiutó a “riprogrammare” da zero la mia comunicazione con il team.
Da quel momento ne seguirono altri di feedback nello stesso stile.
Nessun zuccherino, nessun lato positivo.
Diretti secchi, precisi, puntuali e specifici.
Quelli che “davo io” erano invece più soft.
Prima il positivo e poi il negativo. Senza esagerazioni. Parole misurate che invitavano a far rifletter più che a puntualizzare.
I risultati?! Lontano dall’atteso.
Il “riflettici ancora un po’“ veniva interpretato come “sto facendo bene, devo continuare così” mente volevo dire in maniera edulcorata “è una cattiva idea”.
Oppure
“Hai un punto di vista originale” era interpretato come “la mia idea è super” mente volevo dire “lascia stare..”
Ero perso nei sotterranei della torre di babele fino a quando, iniziando a studiare il russo, l’insegnante di lingue mi spiegò che un approccio diretto era il modo giusto di comunicare in quel contesto.
Era percepito come sincero e concreto.
Mentre il mio “modello all’americana” era visto come falso e disorientante.
Del resto Ivan Drago non era un esempio di eloquenza e gentilezza in Rocky.
Quel “modello” diretto è rimasto con me anche quando ero in Tunisia.
Consapevole dei risultati ottimali avuti nella precedente esperienza ho dovuto fare un bagno freddo nell nuova realtà quando, in una prima riunione con il mio team ho iniziato ad snocciolare feedback negativi ad ogni singola risorsa e ancor peggio, in riunione davanti a tutti.
Alla fine del meeting “apriti cielo” ho dovuto gestire una crisi da pronte dimissioni perché avevo leso la dignità di ognuno di loro davanti al gruppo.
Quello mi fu di lezione per imparare che in quel contesto culturale i feedback di lavoro dovevano essere one-on-one e non plateali.
E ancor diverso negli states quando ho dovuto “rivisitare i feedback” spolverandolo di polvere di stelle e ammorbidendolo per non ledere la autostima altrui e spronare al miglioramento.
È vero che paese che vai feedback che trovi ed è cruciale sapere come e cosa dire perché si rischia di sortire l’effetto contrario o addirittura di innescare una crisi aziendale.
Un utile strumento per chiarirsi l’idee è l’analisi di #ErinMeyer nella mappa delle culture.
Dopo attenti studi , esperienza in ambienti internazionale e ricerche sul campo Erin Meyer riporta tra le 8 scale per mappare le differenze tra le culture nel mondo la “Valutazione – feedback negativo”.
Ad un estremo abbiamo le culture che prediligono il feedback negativo diretto, dato senza giri di parole, secco preciso e puntuale. ( Russia, Paesi Bassi, Italia,..)
E all’altro estremo paesi Asiatici dove il feedback negativo viene dato in maniera indiretta, gentile, con parole incoraggianti.
Conoscere queste differenze può fare la differenza e abbattere le incomprensioni e malumori all’interno dei team multiculturali.
#ComunicazioneEfficace
#TeamMulticuturale
#LaMappaDelleCulture
#FeedbackNegativo
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