Essere padre mi aiuta a mantenere una forte connessione e a migliorare costantemente, ogni giorno, il mio modo di comunicare .
Mio figlio compirà sette anni tra pochi mesi e il mio cuore è colmo di amore e ammirazione per lui.
Tuttavia, non mi reputo un genitore facile… di solito, alle sue richieste, non rispondo semplicemente con un sì o con un no, ma cerco di capire il motivo dietro le sue richieste.
Dopo una piacevole pedalata in bici stamattina, ci siamo fermati in un bar per prendere qualcosa da bere. Abbiamo ordinato , bevuto, e per il conto ho chiesto al mio piccolo di andare a pagare. Prima di farlo, abbiamo fatto insieme un rapido esercizio di matematica per calcolare il resto.
Quando è tornato con la somma esatta, mi ha chiesto di tenersi un euro.
“Perche’ voi un ‘euro? ” Gli ho domandato
“…. Per comprare il gelato, oggi.””
” E perché vuoi comprare tu il gelato se te lo paghiamo noi sempre ?”
La sua risposta è stata toccante: voglio offrire io il gelato a te, la mamma e alla mia sorellina.
Questa semplice conversazione mi ha fatto esplodere il cuore…e mi ha anche fatto riflettere mentre tornavamo a casa in bici.
Spesso, tendiamo a rispondere prontamente alle domande che ci vengono poste, programmati , fin da piccoli a “domanda – risposta””…
Ed e’anche giusto, ma tuttavia, questo comporta delle insidie.
Sarebbe bastato un si, alla richiesta dell’euro, per perdermi la profonda dolcezza di quella semplice richiesta.
Dietro una risposta rapida si può nascondere la tendenza a esprimere il nostro pensiero senza dedicare il giusto tempo ad ascoltare attentamente..
Questo comportamento potrebbe portarci a dare una risposta che non è quella cercata dalla persona che ci sta chiedendo qualcosa. E può accadere perché la domanda potrebbe non essere stata formulata correttamente oppure perché la persona stessa potrebbe non avere chiara la propria richiesta.
Una soluzione è prendersi un momento per chiedere:
“Perché mi stai chiedendo questo?”
Questa semplice frase può aprire nuovi scenari in cui possiamo aiutare l’altra persona a scoprire ciò che desidera veramente e/o a trovare da sola la risposta, magari guidandola con domande come: “Cosa faresti tu se avessi le conoscenze che pensi io abbia per rispondere a questa domanda?”
Questo modello e’ anche uno strumento potentissimo per stimolare il proprio team a trovare risposte, comprendere al meglio cosa vogliono ottenere e a rafforzare il rapporto con i figli.
Anche tu utilizzi queste domande nella tua comunicazione?
P.S. Se ti stai chiedendo se alla fine ho dato l’euro a mio figlio… beh, la risposta è no. Oggi, se mi aiuterà a pulire casa potrà guadagnare quello che mi ha chiesto.
Riuscira’ lo stesso ad offrire a noi il gelato con un mio piccolo aiuto dietro le quinte 🙂.
#ComunicazioneAttiva
#AscoltoAttivo
#EducazionePositiva
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